YOU NO LONGER NEED TO LIVE IN SECRET

Therapy for Problematic Sexual Behavior & Atypical Attractions

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

You’re tired of feeling like you’re living a double life.

Your sexuality should not cause shame or hurt.

You feel like your sexual behavior has taken on a life of its own. Maybe it’s porn, hookup apps, affairs, or other sexual activities that feel out of control, and no matter how many times you tell yourself you’ll stop, you end up right back in the same place. In the moment, you might feel relief or excitement. But afterward, you’re left with guilt, anxiety, and a deep sense of shame. You wonder how long you can keep this part of your life hidden and what it will cost you if anyone finds out.

You may notice it’s harder to focus. You feel distracted at work, emotionally distant at home, or disconnected from your partner. Your sleep might be suffering. You avoid eye contact. You stop initiating intimacy, or you go through the motions without feeling connected. Maybe this behavior once gave you a sense of control or escape, but now it feels like it’s controlling you. And still, you keep it all inside, afraid of what it might mean to say it out loud.

You’re not broken. You’re stuck in a cycle, and therapy can help you understand what’s driving it, so you can step out of it with intention and support.

On the other hand, you might not be acting on anything, but you’re carrying the weight of atypical sexual attractions or fantasies that feel taboo, confusing, or difficult to talk about. You may experience arousal patterns or thoughts that don’t fit into what the world calls “normal,” and you’ve spent years trying to suppress or ignore them. But they haven’t gone away — and now, the shame, fear, and self-doubt are growing louder.

You might think: “What if someone finds out?” or “What kind of person does this make me?”

You may feel isolated from your partner or disconnected from intimacy, even when you crave closeness. You spend time obsessing, researching, avoiding — trying to make sense of something that no one seems to talk about openly. You question whether therapy is even a safe place to bring this part of yourself.

It is. You can bring all of it here — even the parts you’ve never spoken aloud.

Does this sound familiar?

You find yourself hiding your sexual behavior, urges, or fantasies from the people around you. What feels exciting or comforting in the moment quickly turns into shame, and the secrecy creates distance from your relationships, your values, and your sense of self.
You’ve made promises to yourself that you wouldn’t go back to certain behaviors or thoughts, only to find yourself repeating the same cycle. Each time it happens, you feel more defeated, unsure of how to change it, and afraid of what it means about you.
You worry that what turns you on or crosses your mind would shock or disgust others. Even if you’ve never acted on these thoughts, you carry a heavy weight of fear and confusion that keeps you isolated and unsure of where to turn for support.
You feel distracted at work, disconnected from loved ones, or emotionally checked out. Sexual urges or fantasies take up more mental space than you want them to. You might notice physical impacts too, like fatigue or tension from stress and secrecy.
You want intimacy but feel afraid that if someone truly knew what was going on inside, they’d reject you. So you either pull away from connection or pretend to be someone you’re not. Either way, you end up feeling alone.
You haven’t hurt anyone and don’t want to, but you feel like there’s nowhere safe to talk about your attractions without being treated like a threat. You carry intense shame, fear, and loneliness, not because of what you’ve done, but because of who you're afraid people will think you are. You long for support, but staying silent feels like the only way to stay safe.

You can regain balance with your sexuality.

You don’t have to keep doing this alone.

You’re tired of the cycle — the secrecy, the guilt, the disconnection. You’re ready to understand what’s driving your sexual behavior, not just manage it. You want to build a life where you feel in control, where your sexual self is something you can own with clarity, not hide in shame. Therapy can help you move toward a more balanced, fulfilling, and grounded sexual identity that reflects your values and supports real connection.

If you’re struggling with urges, compulsive behavior, or patterns that feel out of sync with who you want to be, now is the time to reach out. You deserve a space where you’re not judged, where you can be honest, and where real change is possible.

If you’re navigating atypical or minor attractions, you’re not beyond help — and you’re not alone.

You didn’t choose your attractions, but you’re committed to living ethically and never causing harm. Still, you carry an overwhelming burden of shame, of fear, of not knowing if it’s ever safe to talk about what you’re feeling. You might spend every day trying to manage thoughts you don’t fully understand, wondering if therapy is even a place you can turn.

It is. You deserve support, even if your struggle isn’t something most people understand. You can build a life that reflects your integrity, not your fear. You can find peace in knowing that you are more than your thoughts. And therapy can be the first safe place you’ve ever had to talk about it.

You are allowed to heal. You are allowed to grow.
And you are allowed to seek help — even with the parts of yourself you’ve kept hidden.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE