YOU ARE NOT BROKEN

Therapy for Desire, Arousal & Intimacy Difficulties

Compassionate therapy online or in-person in Minnesota & online in Vermont

Intimacy feels harder than it should.

Your desire has changed, your body isn’t responding like it used to, and now sex feels confusing or stressful instead of natural.

You feel more distant from your partner, struggling with low desire or difficulty getting aroused. What used to feel easy and enjoyable now feels like pressure, like one more thing you’re failing at instead of sharing together. You worry your partner feels rejected or hurt, and maybe they’ve even said so. The tension grows, turning into frustration, arguments, or emotional distance that leaves you feeling alone and worried about the future of your relationship.

You’ve also noticed the physical side: your body may not respond the way you expect. Arousal feels slower, orgasms are harder to reach (or not happening at all), and sometimes your body just shuts down completely, even when you want to feel close. This is only adding to the frustration and confusion.

Deep down, this struggle has started to chip away at your confidence. You may wonder what’s wrong with you, or fear that you’re broken or not enough. That self-doubt spills into other parts of your life, leaving you overwhelmed, anxious, embarrassed, and ashamed. You just want to feel connected again — to your partner, to your body, and to yourself.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You find yourself feeling less interested in sexual activities than you used to be, even if you are in a relationship or have a supportive partner.

  • You are noticing that when sexual situations or initiations arise, your body doesn't respond the way it used to -- sometimes involuntarily pulling you away from the touch.

  • You sometimes (or now it is an 'all the time') feel disconnected from your partner(s) because of this lack of desire to be sexual. It leads to tension, arguments, misunderstandings, and just makes you want to avoid anything to do with intimacy altogether, just to avoid the fight and tension.

  • You worry that something might be wrong with you or your body that is causing these issues and changes. It feels hopeless that things will ever change, which only leaves you feeling anxious and makes it even harder to want to be sexual.

  • It seems your orgasms are less intense, not as easy to obtain, and you feel helpless in figuring out what is going on and how to bring them back.

    Or maybe you are unsure if you've ever had one, leaving you feeling left out and wondering if it is even possible for you to achieve them.

Your current sexual struggles do not have to define your pleasure’s future.

You might feel like you're stuck in a rut, and the changes in your sex drive, arousal, or intimacy leave you wondering if things will ever feel normal again. You may be struggling with low libido, feeling less interested in sex, or having trouble getting aroused even when you want to be. Maybe your body isn’t responding like it used to: your desire feels distant, your arousal feels flat, or reaching orgasm has become more difficult or even impossible.

You worry your partner feels rejected or hurt, and the tension between you grows. Conversations turn into arguments, or you both pull away and feel emotionally distant. You may even start to wonder if something is wrong with you, feeling broken, embarrassed, or ashamed about what’s happening.

It’s important to know that sexual desire and arousal naturally change throughout life. Many things can impact your sex life: stress, relationship struggles, hormone shifts, body image concerns, menopause or perimenopause, medical issues, emotional disconnection, or simply feeling overwhelmed by everyday life. And when intimacy starts to feel like pressure or obligation, it can take a toll on both your confidence and your relationship. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. And it doesn’t mean something is wrong with your partner, even if your needs look different right now. It simply means things are different, and there is help.

By exploring these changes with compassion and curiosity, you can uncover what’s getting in the way of desire, arousal, and intimacy. With support, you can reconnect with your body, rebuild your confidence, and rediscover pleasure and closeness with your partner. It’s okay to take things at your own pace and get the support you need to reignite connection and enjoy intimacy again.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE

Therapy for arousal & desire difficulties can help you:

  • Understand what’s causing the changes in your desire, arousal, and intimacy.

  • Release shame, guilt, or pressure that’s been weighing down your sexual confidence.

  • Discover and express your sexual needs with confidence to yourself and your partner(s).

  • Expand your definition of what intimacy and sexuality can look like, broadening connection beyond traditional expectations.

  • Shift from feeling like sex is an obligation to experiencing intimacy you genuinely want.

  • Reconnect with your body and explore pleasure at your own pace with yourself and/or your partner(s).

  • Understand how physical or hormonal changes affect your sexual response.

  • Redefine how to be sexual with yourself and your partner(s) in ways that feel authentic and satisfying to you.

You have the ability to redefine your sexual pleasure and desire.

The bottom line is…

Imagine a life where…

  • You wake up excited to experience physical intimacy that feels joyful and deeply connecting.

  • You notice your natural desire growing, bringing more satisfaction and pleasure to your everyday life.

  • You feel calm and confident in your body, no longer frustrated or blocked by arousal struggles.

  • You build stronger emotional and physical closeness with your partner(s), free from anxiety or pressure.

  • You embrace your sexuality on your own terms, enjoying moments of intimacy with ease and confidence.

Unlock sexual confidence.

I’m here to help you rediscover how to get it back in a way that feels good.

FAQs

  • There can be various reasons for a decrease in sexual desire or arousal, including stress, relationship issues, hormonal changes, medical conditions, or medication side effects. Understanding the underlying cause is crucial for addressing the issue effectively.

  • If you notice a persistent and significant change in your sexual desire or arousal that is causing distress, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can help identify the root cause and provide guidance on potential solutions or treatments.

  • No! You are not broken. Your body is likely communicating to you, through the "not going to go there"-signals of the desire & arousal issues of other things happening. If not a medical cause, often it is some underlying mental health, stress-related, sex-negative messaging, mood issue, and/or interpersonal struggle.

    Together we can work on understanding the "why" and helping you redefine what (and how) feel good.

  • Mental health and emotional well-being are closely linked to sexual desire and arousal. Conditions like anxiety, depression, or past trauma can impact one's sexual health. Seeking support from a mental health professional alongside addressing any physical factors can contribute to a holistic approach to sexual well-being.