Therapy for Paraphilias

In-person and Online Therapy in Minnesota
&
Online Therapy in Vermont

You cannot control what you are attracted to.

Paraphilic Disorder: By simple definition, "paraphilic disorder" is a sexual act and/or attraction that is against the cultural norm that causes distress or impairment to the individual or harm to others (and not only because of the culture disapproving of the attraction).

Paraphilia is the word used to describe the specific sexual attraction to those things that are nonsexual objects (e.g., shoes, cars, etc.), causes suffering or humiliation, and/or involve non-consenting partners (e.g., children, animals, disabled/incapacitated people, corpses, etc.).

Within the DSM-5 category, this group of disorders includes:
-Voyeurism: sexual arousal to watching someone in the state of undress, naked, or in the act of sexual activity without them knowing and/or permission to view them;
-Exhibitionism: sexual arousal to showing/flashing your genitals to an unsuspecting person without their permission;
-Frotteurism: sexual arousal to rubbing your genitals against someone without their permission, possibly to the point of ejaculation or orgasm;
-Pedophilic disorder: being sexually attracted to pre-pubescent [not showing signs of puberty] children under the age of 13, whether or not having acted on this attraction);
-Sexual masochism disorder: sexually aroused to being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer;
-Sexual sadism disorder: sexual arousal to the physical or psychological suffering of another person; ---Hebephilia (not formally classified in the DSM-V): sexual attraction to pubescent children [between the ages of 13 and 15 years old, whom are showing early signs of puberty].

If you find yourself with paraphilic attractions maybe you’re noticing:

You are feeling like you are “a monster” and if anyone truly knew what was happening inside of your head, they wouldn’t want to be around you;
You find yourself trying to “talk yourself out” of this attraction;
You find yourself more depressed, anxious, or irritated when you think about what you are attracted to and you can’t stop it;
You feel you are alone with this struggle and no one would ever understand if you told them;
You are not sure where to turn to, as surely if someone knew your thoughts, they’d have you arrested.

You are defined by more than what you are attracted to.

Sexual attraction is not something fully understood within the sexology field. Unfortunately, this can leave a lot of people (and society) to try and “figure out why” some people are attracted to things that, if acted on, could cause harm and damage to the person it is enacted on. But people who are finding themselves with these attractions are also caught between feelings of “disgust” of having the attraction but then the excitement of it being sexually appealing — not knowing what to do with it or what this means about who they are.

Sex Therapist Jess has worked her entire career with individuals who find themselves with attractions that would fall within the DSM-V’s “paraphilia” section and even has worked with individuals who have committed sexual offenses. She has been successful with helping these individuals who are struggling with understanding the why and what to do about it for many years, by providing a confidential, safe, and non-judgmental space for understanding and growth.

(For the sake of avoiding that others misunderstand this type of treatment, it is important to note that Sex Therapist Jess does not condone any non-consensual sexual act and that helping others understand their attractions and/or behaviors is not condoning what was done — if anything was done — that may have harmed someone. Sexual thoughts and fantasies are not “illegal” and are not an automatic cause for a mandated report.)

Individual & Relationship Therapy for Paraphilias

Individual therapy is the most common form of therapy for those individuals who have paraphilic attractions. Often they are already feeling alone, tired, and scared with the realization of their attractions and are unsure where to go with them, as there is a fear of being reported to authorities or police for even thinking such thoughts.

You do not have to struggle alone.

Jess is aware of the mandated reporting laws within the states she is professionally licensed in and makes these laws clear to each client as they begin therapy with her. With this, she creates a safe space for her clients to process through all of their feelings associated with their attractions, thoughts, and fantasies and how to ensure safety remains a top priority, if this is something that a client feels they are struggling with.

Often times, it is not.

Jess does not assume her clients who have these attractions are “ticking time bombs” to causing harm to others through illegal behavior. She believes her clients’ attractions do not guarantee certain behavior and each person’s experiences and attractions are unique — just as they are.

Relationship therapy is also something Jess is comfortable helping her clients and their relationship(s) through, when it comes to paraphilic attractions and/or if an illegal behavior has occurred. Jess does not judge if a partner decides to stay with a person who has committed an illegal offense and will help the relationship heal and become healthier.