Therapy for Kinks & Fetishes

In-person and Online Therapy in Minnesota
&
Online Therapy in Vermont

Your sexual interests are a part of you and nothing to be ashamed of.

Kink: By simple definition, "kink" is referring to anything that falls outside of the culturally-identified "norm" for sexual behavior. Being into kink does not inherently make the attraction or desire "bad" or indication of something psychologically wrong with you! It simply means you get tickled (pun intended) sexually by things that would not fall within the typical categories defined by our culture -- and that's OKAY! Or perhaps you're wanting to try out something new; something that is so outside of the norm for you -- that's OKAY too! 

Fetishes: The culture we live in has come a long way from defining some sexual behaviors as "atypical" and, with this, have removed their existence from professional diagnosing criteria (i.e., DSM-IV or ICD-11) and away from stigmatization. While most fetishes cause no harm to others, sometimes the focus a person puts on these fetishes can make it feel "smothering" to their partner(s), if they do not share the same tantalizing excitement as you. This can cause strain on a relationship and friction between partners can often show up in the bedroom. 

Maybe you’re noticing:

  • Feelings of embarrassment with the thing you find yourself liking to do, sexually;

  • Think you’re the only one who thinks this way and have no idea why or where this attraction came from;

  • You are more aroused by a certain thing that it outside of your current relationship(s) and not sure how to bring it into your current relationship(s) — or if you even should;

  • You are not even sure where to begin to share with your partner your true sexual desires or that you want to try something different.

Your kinks & fetishes are worthy of celebration!

What we end up being attracted to and find ourselves erotically aligned by, is not often understood. Even the latest science cannot, for certain, identify the “whys” we find ourselves attracted to things that others do not. Rather than this being a negative, Jess feels this is something to be celebrated, as it is another indication of you are you — and you are unique and beautiful!

Sex Therapist Jess helps her clients explore their sexual attractions, wants, and desires through talk-based psychotherapy and helping them to fully embrace these aspects of themselves. Sometimes this work involves processing and understanding ways to healthily incorporate this into a person’s “sexual repertoire.” Other times it is simply allowing a non-judgmental place to even accept that is a part of who you are — and it is wonderful! Talk-based sex therapy can help you discover how your sexuality and sexual attractions make you unique and are a part of the beautifully woven tapestry that is your sexual identity.

Individual & relationship therapy for kinks & fetishes.

On an individual therapy level, Jess works with her clients through talk-based therapy to help them understand their attractions and then work on accepting them. Sometimes this is with the work of fantasy exploration, increasing the trust in oneself with how they are experiencing and expressing their sexuality, and/or how to incorporate acceptance of this aspect of themselves.

Within the relationship therapy level, Jess helps all types of partners within various relationship structures (traditional or non-traditional) to understand how a person’s certain kinks/fetishes is a part of themselves and how, if possible, to weave it into their sexual experiences together. Jess also helps partners to learn about, and talk through, these aspects of themselves to better foster connection, understanding, and acceptance within the relationship system, while balancing autonomy, consent, and healthy sexual boundaries within the system. (No, this does not mean Jess can “make” your partner enjoy the exact same things as you — no therapist is that good!)

Therapy for kinks & fetishes can help you:

  • Learn more about your personal sexual desires and interests;

  • Learn to accept these sexual desires and interests as an integral part of yourself — that is worth celebrating;

  • Learn how to communicate to your partner(s) this aspect of your sexual self;

  • Use healthy communication to find a possible balance and incorporation within your relationship(s) sexual experiences that embrace your interests (and respects the boundaries and consent of all involved);

  • Expand upon your sexual repertoire for yourself and your relationship(s) to help add more variety and excitement to your intimacy.

Your attractions are a part of what makes you unique.

I’m here to provide you a safe space to learn how to embrace them.

FAQs

  • Sexual preferences vary widely among individuals, and many people have unique fetishes or kinks. It's important to recognize that diversity in sexual interests is normal, and there is a wide range of preferences within the broader spectrum of human sexuality.

  • Yes, it's entirely possible to have a satisfying sexual relationship while incorporating elements of both conventional ("vanilla") and unconventional preferences. Open communication with your partner is key to finding a balance that meets both of your needs and desires.

  • Sexual preferences, including fetishes and kinks, can evolve over time. Factors such as life experiences, personal growth, and changes in relationships may influence these preferences. It's essential to stay open to self-discovery and communicate with your partner as your desires evolve.

  • If your fetish or kink is causing distress or negatively impacting your daily life, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a mental health professional or a sex therapist. They can provide support, explore potential underlying issues, and help you develop coping strategies.